Thursday, Feb. 24, 2005 - 3:59 pm
So I�m extra super happy right now because Tori�s new album, The Beekeeper is finally out. And I�m going to the show in April! My sister-in-law and niece were supposed to go with me, but they can�t afford it, which is a bummer. Luckily, tho, Tori�s coming back in the summer, so hopefully we�ll all be able to go that show. But the reason I�m so stoked about the April show is this mini-tour is just Tori and the Bosey. No band. Very intimate. In the early days, I was a totally broke high school and college student and couldn�t afford to go to the shows before the band. So now it seems she�s doing it old school and, like I told my dear darling husband, I will be there. He refuses to go to any more Tori shows, so I may end up going alone, which is actually just fine with me.
People always think it�s odd that I don�t mind doing things like this alone, but the truth is, sometimes it�s actually better to be alone. I�m an only child and we moved around a lot when I was a kid. As much as it sucked at the time, I got to be very comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes going to a movie or a concert is better alone because you can totally do your own thing. You don�t have to worry about if the other person is enjoying the show as much as you or if they�re miserable and going to hold it against you forever for dragging them to this stupid vagina-music concert where they have to sit next to a big gay guy who�s singing along and blubbering all over himself (true story). You don�t have to be bothered with the other person tapping you on the shoulder, just as you�re getting lost in the music, to point out the a big gay guy who�s singing along and blubbering all over himself and announce that he needs a beer. You can just be there, in the moment, listening, watching, enjoying the solitude of being alone in a crowd.
See, after having been on my own for so long, living with my dear darling husband is sometimes maddening. Not that he isn�t the most wonderful man I�ve ever known, but because sometimes I just need to be alone! He�s quite talkative and I�m pretty quiet. Sometimes there�s just too much talk and I have nowhere to get away to. And I always feel so bad when I finally have to demand that he leave me alone for a while because he�s never had this need of alone time. He doesn�t understand it and he feels hurt when I ask for it because he feels like I don�t want to be around him. How do you explain to a person that it�s not that you don�t want them around, it�s just that you want to be alone?
So, in summation: Yay for Tori�s new album, book and solo-tour. Yay for being able to go. And Yay for the realization that one can be alone without being lonely.
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